What if things don’t go smoothly after birth?

The first months after your baby’s birth can be intense. Many couples need time to adjust to their new situation — and that’s completely normal. But sometimes parents (or one of them) experience this period as ‘too’ overwhelming. This may be because the baby cries a lot, because you don’t feel happy, or for other reasons. It can also happen that one (or both) of you experienced the birth as traumatic. This can occur regardless of how the birth went.
In this article, you’ll learn how to recognize the difference, what you can do, and where to find help.

How to recognize postpartum depression

Look out for these signs:

• You feel sad or empty, day after day.
• You can’t enjoy your baby (or feel negative or angry emotions toward your baby).
• You feel tired, cry often, or get irritated easily.
• You eat or sleep far too little — or far too much.
• You have trouble concentrating.
• You feel worthless or anxious.
• You think about death or worry that you might harm your baby.

Do you recognize this in yourself or your partner? Take it seriously. Talk about it — with your GP, with us, or with someone you trust. 

Getting help

Postpartum depression is often very treatable. Treatment usually involves therapy sessions with a psychologist or mental health practitioner, and sometimes medication.
It may also help to read more about the topic on the websites below or in books. 

Recommended websites:

• womenshealth.gov - mental-health
• www.nhs.uk -mental-health
• postpartum.net
• postpartumhealthalliance.org- online support groups/
• mchb.hrsa.gov - maternal mental health hotline
• www.cdc.gov - mental health
• thuisarts.nl (Dutch)
• deverloskundige.nl
• lkpz.nl (Dutch)
• Mind — postpartum depression (Dutch)

Perinatal OCD — what is it?

Perinatal OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) is a mental health condition in which someone during pregnancy or after birth experiences intrusive, often distressing thoughts or images about their (unborn) child. These thoughts are usually accompanied by an intense fear of harming the baby — consciously or unconsciously — or of causing harm in another way.

Examples of these intrusive thoughts include:

• Fear of unintentionally infecting the baby with something dangerous.
• Constant worries about whether the baby is safe and healthy.
• Shocking or violent images, such as imagining throwing the baby out of a window.
• Unwanted sexual thoughts, such as the idea of touching the baby inappropriately.
• Doubts about your love for the baby, even though you do love your child.

How common is perinatal OCD — and can it be treated?

Perinatal OCD is more common than you might think. Around 2 in 100 women develop OCD during pregnancy or within the first year after giving birth. 

The good news: perinatal OCD is treatable. Early recognition and an accurate diagnosis are key, as untreated OCD can affect both the parent’s mental health and the bond with the baby. Together with a healthcare professional — such as a psychologist or through a specialized perinatal (POP) clinic — you can explore the right support options.

Do you recognize these symptoms? Please let us know (you can also email us if it feels difficult to talk face to face). We’re here to help you. 

Frequently Asked Questions

Can this start later on?

Yes. Depressive or traumatic symptoms can also develop weeks or even months after giving birth.

Is this 'just' hormones or something real?

Hormones do play a role, but this goes beyond the typical ‘baby blues.’ If symptoms last longer than two weeks, seek professional help.

I feel guilty — is that normal?

Very normal — but not justified. This is not your fault. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness, but of strength.

What if my partner is worried about me?

Listen to that concern. Others may notice sooner when you’re not doing well. Discuss together what the next step could be.

Will my baby be taken away?

No! Mothers experiencing depression are supported with therapy and sometimes medication. Your baby stays with you. We might advise you to ask family or friends for extra help with the baby’s care — but only if that’s what you need.