Module 4
Preparing your other child
Preparing your older child
A baby on the way isn’t just exciting for you — it’s also a big change for your child. Suddenly, your oldest will need to share attention, and that can be a lot to process. Luckily, there’s plenty you can do to help them adjust to the idea of a sibling. In this article, you'll find 10 practical tips, based on what we see every day in our practice.
What’s true (and what’s not)?
- ✅ Children can adjust well to a new baby — as long as they feel seen and included.
- ✅ Being honest helps: you don’t have to shield your child from every emotion.
- ❌ Waiting until the baby is born to explain or change things often backfires.
- ❌ "They won’t understand anyway" – even young children pick up on a lot and understand more than you think.
10 tips to prepare your child for the baby
1. Choose a calm moment to tell them
Pick a time when you can really be together. Avoid birthdays or family events. This helps your child feel safe to ask questions or express feelings. Don’t put words in their mouth — just listen.
2. Make changes well in advance
Will your child be moving rooms or starting daycare? Do this well before the baby arrives, so it doesn’t feel like something caused by the baby — just a natural change.
3. Make changes fun
If your oldest is giving up their crib for the baby, make it a celebration! Let them pick out a new duvet or help decorate their new room. Turn it into something positive — not a loss.
4. Let your child meet other babies
If babies are still an abstract idea, help make them more real. Visit friends with a baby or look at old baby photos of your child. Talk about what babies do: sleep, cry, eat — and (not yet) play.
5. Be honest when they ask questions
Kids are curious and often ask surprising things. Give simple, honest answers. If you like, you can take them to a check-up (but maybe not to an ultrasound — the dark room can feel intense). Listening to the heartbeat is a great option.
6. Involve your child in the preparations
Let them feel the baby kick, help choose clothes, or pick out a stuffed animal for the baby. Say “our baby” instead of “the baby” to help them feel part of the journey.
7. Keep focus on their world
Don’t let everything be about the baby. Ask about daycare, play together, and celebrate your child’s milestones. Their world is just as important.
8. Let others care for your child sometimes
If your child is used to grandma, grandpa, or a babysitter helping out, it won’t feel like a sudden change later. Also practise small moments of independence — putting on socks, making a sandwich. It builds confidence for them and for you.
9. Practise sleepovers
Sleepovers before the birth are a golden tip. That way, if you go into labour suddenly, your child is already used to being away — and it won’t feel like being “sent away”.
10. Plan one-on-one time
After birth, you can’t do everything at once. So plan quality time with your oldest: reading a book, getting ice cream, or going to the playground. Avoid vague “later” promises. Be specific: “When the baby is asleep, we’ll draw together.” Agree with your partner who focuses on which child when.
BONUS: Celebrate being a big brother or sister
A small gift “from the baby” often works wonders. It highlights that your oldest is gaining an important new role.
Summarized
- Tell them calmly: Choose a quiet, private moment to share the news.
- Start early: Make any changes (like a new room or daycare) well before the baby arrives.
- Make changes fun: Let your child help decorate or choose something new.
- Introduce babies: Visit friends with a baby or look at baby pictures together.
- Be honest: Answer questions simply and truthfully — no need to avoid emotions.
- Involve them: Let your child feel kicks, choose a toy for the baby, or help pack the baby bag.
- Keep focus on their world: Talk about their daily life and celebrate their milestones too.
- Let others help: Practise time with grandparents or a sitter to prepare for changes later.
- Try sleepovers: Practise before the birth to make things feel familiar later.
- Plan 1-on-1 time: Make special time with your oldest — even just a story or a short outing.
- Bonus: A small gift “from the baby” helps make the new sibling role feel special!