Communication During Birth

During labor, you want to feel heard and understood. It’s an intense and vulnerable moment when you need to be able to fully trust the people around you. Clear, respectful communication is key — not only to make good medical decisions but also to help you feel safe and acknowledged, exactly as you are.

How can you communicate your wishes to us?

You don’t need to write an elaborate communication plan, but discussing or noting down a few things in advance can make a big difference. For example:

• Who do you want to be present at your birth?
• Are there specific words you do or don’t want us to use?
• Would you like us to explain things first, or prefer that we act quickly?
• Do you want to be involved in every decision?

We encourage you to share these preferences with us — for instance, during your appointments in the final weeks of pregnancy. You can also write them down in a birth plan. Don’t worry about making it perfect; the goal is simply to make your voice heard in advance.

The BRAINS method: a helpful decision-making tool

During labor, you may need to make decisions quickly. The BRAINS method can help you do this consciously. It’s an easy-to-remember checklist of questions to ask yourself or your care provider:

• B – Benefits (What are the advantages?)
• R – Risks (What are the risks?)
• A – Alternatives (Are there other options?)
• I – Intuition (What does your gut tell you?)
• N – Nothing (What happens if we do nothing right now?)
• S – Smile or Second opinion (Can you still relax? Or would you like to check in or get another opinion?)

Using BRAINS helps you stay in control, even when things feel intense. You don’t have to ask these questions literally — it’s about knowing that you’re always part of the decision-making process.

What is inclusive communication?

Inclusive communication means acknowledging the diversity of people — in language and in attitude. It’s communication that doesn’t exclude anyone, consciously or unconsciously. This might mean addressing someone as “parent” instead of “mother” if that fits better, or simply using the words you’re comfortable with. Inclusive language isn’t an “extra,” it’s an essential part of good care.

In short:

• It reflects your identity and preferences.
• It is respectful and nonjudgmental.
• It makes room for every story, without assumptions.

If you’d like us to address you in a specific way, please let us know!

How to talk to us about this

It’s okay if you’re not sure how to bring it up — just start. For example:

• “I’ve noticed certain words make me feel uneasy. Can I tell you what feels better for me?”
• “My partner and I would prefer if you use gender-neutral language.”
• “If possible, I’d like you to explain things slowly as they happen.”

We’re always open to feedback and want you to feel comfortable and supported during your care.

Frequently Asked Questions

What if I find it hard to bring this up?

We completely understand — it’s not always an easy topic to start. You can also write it down in your birth plan or mention it in an email before your appointment. Would that make it easier?
And remember… we work in Amsterdam — nothing surprises us here 😉

Are you open to feedback during labor itself?

Absolutely. Birth is an intense experience, and if something doesn’t feel right, we want to know. We take your feedback seriously — always.

What if my partner wants to say something about this too?

Even better! We want communication to feel comfortable for your partner(s) as well. Please let us know if there are any specific wishes or preferences.

In summary: Good communication during labor goes beyond words. It’s about building trust, honoring your experience, and helping you stay in charge — no matter how your birth unfolds. Inclusive, clear communication helps you feel safe and supported. Small adjustments can make a big difference.