Your role as a partner in the first week

The first week after birth is intense, magical, and overwhelming all at once. Not only because there’s a newborn in the house, but also because as a partner, you suddenly take on many different roles: parent, caregiver, household manager, emotional support — and sometimes employee too. Maybe you feel prepared; maybe it’s a shock — both are perfectly okay. This article helps you understand your role and prepare for that first week after birth.

What to expect

The first week is about recovery, bonding, and finding a new rhythm. Your partner needs physical and emotional care, your baby requires (a lot of) attention, and meanwhile, you’re trying to stay on your feet. You’re needed — not just for diaper changes, but also to keep an overview, organize meals, and notice how everyone is doing.

Key points:

• You also need sleep, support, and care.
• Your emotions matter too — even if you can’t always share them right away.
• Postnatal depression or trauma in partners is real — and help is available.
• Self-care isn’t a luxury — it’s a necessity.

Sleep: you count too

You’ve probably had a long, sleepless night during the birth as well. Getting rest is tricky with a baby who wakes frequently, but it’s essential. Try to sleep when the baby sleeps — even during the day. Sometimes, the smartest move is simply to go to bed right after dinner.

A few tips:

• Set an alarm for a 30-minute power nap.
• Make clear agreements with your partner about who sleeps when.
• Use earplugs when you really need to recharge.

Emotions: how was it for you?

Birth is not only intense for the person giving birth. You may have found it exciting, emotional, or even frightening. But right now, your partner might not have the space to hear your story — she’s still processing her own experience.

What can you do?

• Call or meet someone who can listen to your story.
• Record your thoughts on your phone — it can help bring clarity.
• Write down how you felt — you can revisit it later, together.

Tip: discuss with your partner what details you feel comfortable sharing with others. Some women don’t want to hear about the birth again in the first days — so you may need to have those conversations privately.

Self-care: not just for mothers

The first week often revolves around the mother and baby — which makes sense. But you matter too. Taking care of yourself helps you be more present and supportive for your family.

Pay attention to:

• Eat at least three nutritious meals a day, even if you don’t feel hungry.
• Drink enough water (not just coffee!).
• Do something for yourself — a short walk, a shower, or 15 minutes of fresh air.

Feelings of being “left out” or “lost” are not unusual. Talk about them — being heard makes a difference.

When to seek help

If you notice persistent sadness, lack of motivation, or feeling disconnected from your partner or baby, there may be more going on. Postnatal depression among partners is more common than you might think (5–10%). Birth-related trauma can also have lasting effects.

Signs to look out for:

• You feel irritable, down, or emotionally flat.
• You struggle to bond with your baby.
• You relive the birth or experience panic attacks.

If this sounds familiar, it’s important to reach out for help. Start with your GP. 

👉 Take a self-test if you’re unsure: City Birth Trauma Scale.com

Summary

The first week after birth is intense — for you too. You’re essential, but you don’t have to do it all alone. Take care of yourself, talk about your experience (with whoever feels right), eat, sleep, and be kind to yourself. And if you feel stuck — there’s more help available than you might think.

👉 Read more on Platform Vaderschap (Dutch)
👉 Explore our reading list for partners
👉 Create your Postpartum Plan together

We’re here for you too — always.