Together Through Birth: Your Role as a Partner

When we say “partner,” we mean your romantic partner or your chosen birth partner. A birth partner is someone who supports you during labour — this could be a friend, family member, neighbour, or doula. ❤️

Your role as a partner is essential during childbirth. Research shows that partners have a positive influence on the birth experience. Labour tends to progress better when both partners feel equally involved and are able to support one another.

But what can you actually do as a partner — and what should you avoid doing 😉? We’ve written this article to help you find your way.

Preparing together

You never know exactly how a birth will unfold, but preparing together really makes a difference. Studies show that good preparation can reduce fear and the perception of pain, and helps parents look back on the birth more positively.

Preparing together starts with sharing expectations. How do you both feel about the upcoming birth? Are you excited, anxious, curious? What do you each expect from the experience — and from one another? Talk about your wishes and what’s important to you before the big day.

Support and reassurance

The most important thing is to offer support in a way that feels right for her. Create a calm, relaxed atmosphere — this helps her hormones do their work and promotes the natural flow of labour.
A positive mindset from you can make a big difference. It’s not about pretending labour is easy or ignoring the pain — it’s about believing in her strength and her body’s ability to give birth.

How to help her stay positive:

• Focus on progress: “Every contraction brings you closer to meeting our baby.”
• Use affirmations: Simple words like “You can do this” or “Your body knows what to do” can help her stay centred and confident.
• Be informed: Knowing what to expect helps you stay calm and supportive — and allows her to relax, trusting that you understand what’s happening.

Some women like leaning on their partner during contractions, while others prefer quiet time on their own. Either way, stay close enough to hear and respond when she needs you. Encourage her when things get tough — and don’t forget to take care of yourself too: eat, drink, and rest when you can.

Check out our book list for partners for extra inspiration and insight.

More information for expectant partners

• wilderdad.com
• www.tommys.org
• www.fatherly.com
  ⚠️ On many websites, in books, and on various platforms, the term fatherhood is still often used — but what they really mean (we hope 😉) is all partners of mothers, regardless of gender, background, or age.