Becoming a mother

The process of becoming a mother is also known as “matrescence” — a transformation that can be profound, confusing, and beautiful all at once. Yet it’s often overlooked. In this article, we explain what matrescence is, why it matters, and how you can support yourself through this phase.

The basics

• “Matrescence” is the term for the physical, emotional, and mental transformation you go through when becoming a mother.
• This change often begins during pregnancy, but becomes even more intense after birth.
• The mental health of mothers is still too often ignored or underexposed.
• There is no “right” way to feel as a new mother. Whatever you feel is valid.
• Adjusting expectations, seeking support, and taking care of yourself all help to make this period easier to navigate.

Becoming a mother is a transformation

Motherhood brings a profound transformation. Much like adolescence, your body, brain, and identity go through major changes. But unlike adolescence, matrescence also comes with responsibility, sleepless nights, and a baby who depends entirely on you. It’s a time of immense joy, but also one of great responsibility and change. For many women, the transition to motherhood can feel difficult — but it’s also a chance for deep personal growth.

Becoming a mother also means saying goodbye to parts of your old life. You change as a person – and that’s normal. But because the focus is often on the baby, your own transformation doesn’t always get the attention it deserves.

New priorities, a new rhythm

One of the biggest shifts that motherhood brings is a change in priorities. Suddenly, everything revolves around the baby, while your other responsibilities don’t disappear. Learning to juggle sleep, work, household tasks, and your own needs takes time. With patience, a new balance will emerge.
You may have expected to feel fulfilled and happy right away. Maybe you see others on Instagram who seem to breeze through motherhood effortlessly. The truth is often far messier.

If that sounds familiar — you’re not alone. And it says nothing about how much you love your baby.

Physical changes: this is your new body

Pregnancy and childbirth bring big physical changes. You might long for how your body “used to be.” But remember: your body has done something extraordinary. It deserves respect and love – not pressure or criticism. Give yourself time and be gentle. Comparing yourself to others or to who you once were won’t help. You’re not going backwards – you’re moving forward, on a new path.

Support makes all the difference

“It takes a village to raise a child” – but where is that village when you need it? Many mothers miss having a close circle of support. Yet that support is crucial. Whether it’s your partner, a friend, a neighbour, or a professional – make sure you don’t have to carry everything on your own.

Dare to ask for help. And more importantly: dare to accept it. You truly don’t have to do it all by yourself.

Me-time isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity

Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish – it’s an investment in you and your baby. When you feel better, you can care for others more easily. Still, many mothers feel guilty for taking time just for themselves.

That guilt? Let it go. Plan an evening out, a solo walk, or a coffee with a friend. Whatever it is, make sure it gives you energy.

Summary

Becoming a mother is powerful, intense, and not always easy. It brings love, challenges, sleepless nights, and enormous growth. You don’t have to be perfect. It’s okay to find it hard sometimes. What matters is staying connected to yourself – this is your path, and you are already enough, exactly as you are.

Do you feel the need to talk or notice that you’re struggling? Please discuss it with us, or reach out for professional support. You’re not alone.

There are also wonderful books written on this topic.
At This is the Village, they are building a world where matrescence—the transformation into motherhood—is seen, acknowledged, supported, and celebrated. They bring knowledge, care, and connection together. It’s a place full of support, recognition, and growth, with an open heart, a grounded perspective, and occasionally a healthy dose of humour.